My good friend and colleague, Jenny Xia (also a bona fide Gotoofareaster) recently asked me, “What elements of [Chinese] culture do you like so much?”
This question is even more interesting because of who asked it. Jenny is kind of the opposite of me: a Chinese person living and working in Dallas. So she’s got plenty of first-hand experience with culture. Rather than letting her counter response get buried in the comments section, I wanted to share it here with everyone. Introducing Go Too Far East guest contributor Jenny Xia:
The answer to tourist’s truth
Tim, you just keep enlightening us with your perceptive observation and eloquence. This particular post addressing my “challenging” question was again insightful – in expected and unexpected ways. I think it’s only fitting that I reciprocate with an equally thought-out post. Before I elaborate, though, I wanted to say that I was sorry to hear about your wedding picture. Well, that’s third-world-country law and order for you. After all, it’s a country where anything can be faked – designer clothes, prescriptions, receipts … you name it.
So, let’s go back to my question. When I asked it, I was hoping that you wouldn’t give me a tourist’s version of truth – that you’re staying in China for the exotica, such as ancient architecture, Chinese calligraphy, imperial garment, eccentric foods and whatnot – though it may have been the initial appeal. And, you didn’t. Your statement of “I can’t say that culture is the reason I’m here anymore” was expected, as I did sense your evolving understanding of China by following your blog. The youthful enthusiasm at the beginning of your journey seems to have evolved into resilience and, as you said, a sense of adventure.
What’s unexpected were all the other revelations. Thank you for giving a name to the part of culture that’s called “values.” Before I get to that, I wondered if ideology is part of values. Allow me to indulge in a travel story. I visited Budapest five years ago, before Hungary joined the EU. The similarities between people there and (mainland) Chinese were aplenty and surprisingly palpable. It was the likeness in the head, programmed by ideology, political tumult (the founding and failing of socialism) and the socio-economic reforms that ensued. The country’s aspiration for an EU membership was as fervent as China’s desire to join the WTO. Underneath it all are a nation’s intent to make up for the lost years and restive aspiration for changes.
Ok, move on to the values you spoke of. I couldn’t put my finger on it before, when asked why I enjoyed America. Beyond the ostensible (conveniences and clean air) and the superficial (art, fashion and consumerism), that is. I’d just say that I appreciate civility when people show good manners in public. I appreciate kindness when a fellow passenger on a plane helps me reach the overhead bin. I appreciate decency when drivers involved in a car wreck voluntarily exchange information. I appreciate trust when I shop, knowing that retailers aren’t out there to con me in spite of savvy marketing. Most of all, I appreciate my independence – a missing element from the Confucian culture I was born into. Many adult children in China still live with their parents or in-laws, mooching off the old folks and making communal decisions. I find it preposterous. Despite practical reasons (e.g. expensive housing in big cities), I think it’s a personal choice of convenience and complacence. Now, I’m not saying that I buy everything in American culture. Frankly, I’m rather cynic about the feel-good mentality, which seems to do little good but help people develop drug/alcohol dependence, find blames and shun personal responsibility.
My favorite words in your post are “we’re more about our choices than our culture.” Indeed. It trivializes personal decisions when we attribute everything to culture. And hopefully, by making the right (at times bold) choices, we can challenge and change obsolete values. I think the greatest gain from international experiences is being exposed to a different perspective so that we become gradually aware of the differences between cultures, evaluate them and then determine what to be aborted or absorbed. We just might turn out wiser. You know, Mao has a quote that says it best. I know you’re interested in historic figures, so I’m inserting his quote here (for kicks): “古为今用,洋为中用,百花齐放,推陈出新.”
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That quote from Mao, translated to English, goes something like this:
“The ancient things are for modern people’s use, the foreign things are for Chinese people’s use. Let a hundred flowers blossom. Get rid of the stale and bring forth the fresh.”
